The Boys

Our three boys chillin on the couch.

Winston, a rescue is a 3 year old King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. He's our newest edition. Rippy, who's official name is Rip Surf Pipeline, is an eight year old brindle boxer. We've had him since he was about a year old. Buster is far right. Another Boxer. We've had him since he was a pup. The most amazing dog I have ever known. He was diagnosed with cancer on August 25th. The Vet told me his life would be measured in weeks. He doesn't know Buster. He'll be ten next month.

Buster used to let himself out of the house all the time. He would stand up, grab the door knob with both paws, turn it and walk backward to open the door. On several occasions he climbed out of kennels. I took him to a kennel one time and told them that he will get out if they're not careful. They said, "we've dealt with clever dogs before". I said, "they are amateurs compared to Buster". When I picked him up they agreed. The girl said, "he kept getting out so I watched to see how he was doing it". He would go in the corner where he figured he'd have the best leverage and climbed, pulling himself up with his front paws and pushing with his back paws. The pads on his feet clinging to the chain link fence. Over the years I've seen him do so many incredible things I can't keep track. I will miss him immensely.

That couch is kinda the dog couch. My wife won't sit on it but I consider myself one of the pack so I chill on it all the time. And the boys don't like it when I do. Except for Winston, he still fits.

The Haunting

I wrote this on June 21, 2008
I wasn't sure if I'd ever publish it.
Today's the day.


Some of you may know I spent 10 years working as a professional firefighter in the city of Milwaukee. From 1988 through 1998 I worked in some of the busiest fire houses in the city. It was a hectic time for me and the department which set records for the number of fires and medical runs. During this time I also worked at two restaurants and started a catering business. Until now I've only posted one other experience on the department. That one is called "Carbon Moment", my recollection of a memorable fire. I try to keep this blog centered on food and the biz but as the blog description indicates it's half jokingly about therapy as well. (Not that I need it, muhaaahaha!) My experiences on the fire deptartment contribute to who I am and how I operate so I'll occasionally throw a fireman story in here. I've made a conscious decision not to reflect too often on my history as a firefighter but this particular subject haunts me to this day. There are a few experiences I try and lock away in that closet in the back of my mind but this one manages to sneak out too often. It is with that in mind that I write about it. It is not easy.

It was about 15 years ago. I was working at Engine 23,a medium busy engine company on the south side. In Milwaukee the engine companies respond to emergency medical calls, everything from hemorrhoids (I kid you not) to homicides. We are all trained as EMTs and some firefighters as paramedics. In fact, the majority of our runs are medical emergencies.

It was a pleasant evening not long after dinner and the dishes were done that we got a run for a possible GSW. (Gun shot wound) We arrived at the location in a decent neighborhood comprised of newly built town-homes. It's rare we get called for GSWs in nice neighborhoods so this was strange from the beginning. Even rarer was that a Milwaukee police squad was already there. 95% of the time we beat them in. The boss, a fellow firefighter and I jumped off the rig, grabbed our gear and headed into one of the new town-homes. As we entered we couldn't help but notice the smell of cordite, most commonly reffered to as gun powder. Someone fired at least one gunshot in this place and not long ago. (anxiety level raised)In the family room was a Milwaukee cop struggling with a man in his later twenties dressed in casual clothing. The man was wailing a sorrowfull scream while trying to enter the bedroom. The cop held him back as I entered the bedroom followed by the boss and the other firefighter. What we saw stunned us. We all paused for a moment taking in the sight that lay before us. On the bed was an apparent young women with a shotgun between her legs with the butt of the gun at the foot of the bed. She was wearing relatively new tight fitting jeans and a neatly pressed button down blouse (Weird the things you notice while your mind trys to comprehend the sight). She was half sitting with pillows propping her up. She had apparently just fired the shotgun into her mouth. The wall behind her was covered with blood and brain matter in a three foot pattern that reached to the ceiling. The only thing that remained of her head was part of her lower jaw. For an instant I considered checking for a pulse. More out of habit than anything else. It was obvious the woman was dead. I repeated the prayer in my head that I always recite when I'm confronted with death. I'm not religious but it's something I started doing early in my career. The boss broke the silence when he quietly miked his radio and reported to dispatch "engine 23,10-99". Department code for DOA. I stood there and briefly looked around the room and spotted a photo of the victim and her boy friend on the small table next to the bed. She was an attractive young woman with an athletic figure and brunette hair. The man wailing and struggling with the cop was the boyfriend in the picture. Soon the place was filled with cops. We then learned the victim was a police officer for a near north suburb of Milwaukee and her boy friend was a Milwaukee cop. After senior members of the police department arrived we left in silence and didn't say a word the entire ride back to the engine house. Usually after intense situations we decompress with sick humor or small talk. Not this time. We were speechless and remained speechless the rest of the night. We were not talking about it. I guess we were thinking about our wives or girlfriends. I know I was.

I ran into that boss a couple weeks later when I was visiting another firehouse. He confessed to me that that run got to him more so than any other in his career. I agreed that it was still haunting me as well. For the rest of my time on the job when I ever I ran into him we wouldn't talk about the experience but I knew when he saw me and when I saw him we were both reminded of that night. It is still that way today and probably always will be.

For me it's more difficult dealing with death when the victims are young and female. Maybe because I have an attractive wife at home and a young daughter. Death is hard enough to deal with, what's worse is experiencing the agony and sorrow of the friends and family who are present. It's at a time when it's most acute, when they first realize their loved one is dead. It's not a nightmare, nothing can be done, it's final. Things will never be the same again. I've had to endure peoples anguish hundreds of times over. I never got used to it. I don't think anyone does. It's one thing about that job I don't miss.

If I can truly forget some of those memories that occasionally sneak out of that closet I'd be much better for it but I know that will never happen.

Another Fireman Story

I had just a couple months on the job when our Engine company was called to a working fire. It was late morning, not too cold, not too hot, a perfect time of day for a fire. We were second engine in to a fire in a "taxpayer", a two story building with retail on the ground floor and living quarters above. Captain Putze was the boss, I was the cub and glued to his hip.

The Captain was an interesting guy, my first boss on the job. Not the buddy, buddy, type. He always kept to himself and didn't socialize with other firefighters. He was also nearing retirement and spent every off day golfing or in Arizona. He also had the reputation of being a hard-ass and a fireman's fireman. He had seen some serious action in his career and was well respected within the ranks. His nick name was "Digger" because he was also a mortician. Only his friends would use his nick name, I wouldn't dare.


Being second engine in, the crew laid a second line to back up the first-in crew. That left me and the captain to do search and rescue. The fire was on the second floor. We followed the first crew's line up the stairs and paused briefly before entering the room. The first engine was still advancing so we assisted with moving the hose forward. we were getting worried, they still hadn't found the fire and the place wasn't that big. They ended up going through the entire apartment passing up the fire. Our crew was still laying the second line when the Captain crawls into the room, I follow keeping in contact with his boots. The next thing you know he's gone and the room lights up. The scene has played out in my head over and over. It was beautiful, surreal and somehow peaceful. It was like someone had taken a bucket of flaming gasoline and in slow motion poured it across the room. It was coming my way. I remember the finish on the coffee table ignite, it was happening real fast yet it was in slow motion, like the movies. One of the few times I saw a fire that clear and that close. We followed the hose line in and now I was using it as a guide to back out. It was a race with the wall of fire. Just then the hose burst. The fire had burned through it, probably saving my life. It put enough of the fire out to stop it's advance. Being terribly concerned about the Captain I crawled back in following the broken hose-line to the hole and directed the spray onto the rest of the fire. It was out pretty quickly and when it was clear enough to see, me and the first crew went looking for the Captain. He was nowhere to be found. We continued to search when he came strolling in the front door. "Where'd you go Captain", he replied, "out the window", "How far down?" "Three feet, onto the roof next door". I asked him if he knew there was a roof there? "Nope, I was pleasantly surprised".

Ceviche Start to Finish

Tuna Tartar Tataki

New menu item.

No Place for Vanity or Comfort.

If you wake up in the middle of the night and your house is on fire, don't get dressed, run for your life. Every second counts. I'm being DEAD serious.

I used to get asked, "ever pull anybody out of a burning building?" I would reply, "dead or alive?". They didn't care but "alive" makes for a better story. Unfortunately my guy died. Male, about 40, living alone. Woke up in the middle of the night to find his house on fire. He made the mistake of trying to get dressed. He stood up to put his pants on and took one breath of the poisonous, super heated gasses and went down. I found him with one leg in his pants.

You know the movies where they show the fire fighters sling a victim over his shoulders and rush him to safety? If I had done that not only would dude be dead but so would I. Firefighters live on the floor. I was crawling when I felt him, grabbed him by both ankles and unceremoniously dragged him out of the room and down a short flight of steps to safety, his head clunking on each stair as we descended. We were met by a slew of medical professionals and whisked away in an ambulance. Found out later he didn't make it. Does it bother me? No, I did my search perfectly. Some things you don't do half ass-ed.

Then there were those that you found after the fire. I'll keep those to myself.